funny quotes in pictures

The goalkeeper is the jewel in the crown and getting at him should be almost impossible. It's the biggest sin in football to make him do any work. ~George Graham, 1997



Puns are the gag hand buzzers of conversation. It hurts a bit but everyone gets a good laugh out of it. ~Grey Livingston



When solving problems, dig at the roots instead of just hacking at the leaves. ~Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book



Wherever a man turns he can find someone who needs him. ~Albert Schweitzer



Fortune brings in some boats that are not steered. ~William Shakespeare



I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990. ~Dave Barry



Just because you've only got houseplants doesn't mean you don't have the gardening spirit - I look upon myself as an indoor gardener. ~Sara Moss-Wolfe



And I find chopsticks frankly distressing. Am I alone in thinking it odd that a people ingenious enough to invent paper, gunpowder, kites and any number of other useful objects, and who have a noble history extending back 3,000 years haven't yet worked out that a pair of knitting needles is no way to capture food? ~Bill Bryson



People think too historically. They are always living half in a cemetery. ~Aristide Briand



There is no faith which has never yet been broken, except that of a truly faithful dog. ~Konrad Lorenz



Beware the barrenness of a busy life. ~Socrates



Quote A: �Every job is a self-portrait of the person who does it. Autograph your work with excellence.� ~Author Unknown



To insult someone we call him "bestial." For deliberate cruelty and nature, "human" might be the greater insult. ~Isaac Asimov, Isaac Asimov's Book of Science and Nature Quotations, 1988 To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear. ~Buddha



Spend the afternoon. You can't take it with you. ~Annie Dillard



We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. ~Vince Lombardi



The death of someone we know always reminds us that we are still alive - perhaps for some purpose which we ought to re-examine. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960



Of equality - As if it harm'd me, giving others the same chances and rights as myself - As if it were not indispensable to my own rights that others possess the same. ~Walt Whitman



To know how to grow old is the master-work of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living. ~Henri Amiel



A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way. ~John Tudor



Love is what you've been through with somebody. ~James Thurber, quoted in Life magazine, 1960